{"id":304,"date":"2012-02-17T14:54:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-17T14:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.hildred-billings.com\/site\/2012\/02\/17\/friday-flash-theyre-bulgarian\/"},"modified":"2012-02-17T14:54:00","modified_gmt":"2012-02-17T14:54:00","slug":"friday-flash-theyre-bulgarian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hildred-billings.com\/site\/2012\/02\/17\/friday-flash-theyre-bulgarian\/","title":{"rendered":"Friday Flash: “They’re Bulgarian”."},"content":{"rendered":"

For this week’s installment of Friday Flash, I’ve got…nothing new! Well, it’s probably new to most of you. But if you ever read my Nanowrimo profile, it’s not.<\/p>\n

Didn’t have time to write up anything new this week. Instead I’m offering up the preview text I have on my Nanowrimo 2011 profile for CROSS\/\/Revenge. It’s about 2k words, but most of it is dialogue. Only minimally edited thus far, as is probably obvious. (Still Nano-raw, lots of extraneous words and then some, cause LOL WORD COUNT) <\/p>\n

Not gonna offer much background, but it features one of the characters I used in the recent blogfest. And some new ones.<\/p>\n

Usual warnings for some crude language, sexuality talk, and a couple violent threats. Basically, a normal day in the CROSS\/\/ universe.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Heaven\u2019s Garden was one of those places that looks like a tiny caf\u00e9 from the outside, but in reality is a gaping maw of seating and lighting inside. Yumiko removed her sunglasses so her eyes could adjust to the natural lighting while avoiding waiters and hostesses, regardless of how cute the latter were. When Maj. Lewis suggested \u201chamburgers and salad\u201d Yumiko thought she\u2019d be lucky with Sizzler\u2019s, but by the lack of children and anybody wearing less than their semi-formal wear it was\u2026well, it was what she feared the most: a date.<\/div>\n
They sat in the middle of the gallery, on opposite sides of the table, and when Maj. Lewis tried to order on her behalf she responded by kicking her foot into the table and spilling his water all over his lap.<\/div>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll have the quarter pound with tomatoes and onion only please. Second lunch set.\u201d Yumiko turned on her smile just for the skinny, tanned waitress.<\/div>\n
\u201cNice appetite, Kobayashi! It\u2019s nice to see a woman who actually eats.”<\/div>\n
My stomach feels like a bottomless pit of you-shut-your-mouth. <\/i>\u201cOh, I\u2019m not opposed to feasting when the moment calls for it.\u201d The waitress was the one to inspire her to use a double-entendre. Yumiko wondered if she could get her number.<\/div>\n
\u201cMy ex-wife \u2013 honestly, can\u2019t remember which one \u2013 had this thing about eating food that weighed more than her hand. How does that even make sense? It doesn\u2019t. She has a daughter with another man now. That\u2019s gonna end well, eh?\u201d<\/div>\n
Yumiko rolled her eyes. All she heard was \u201cmy ex-wife blah blah blah\u201d.<\/div>\n
After another awkward declaration about ex-wives \u2013 \u201cthis other one thought it was her job to eat all the sausage in the house\u201d \u2013 Maj. Lewis got up to go use the restroom. Yumiko whipped out her cell phone to send a plea to Miranda to come save her from this heterosexual spectacle. <\/div>\n
The waitress walked by once more, but before Yumiko could turn on her charm and invite her over to her apartment later for debauchery she realized she was leading two people to the table behind Yumiko. So much for that.<\/div>\n
Yumiko didn\u2019t pay attention to what the people were saying until they actually said<\/i> something.<\/div>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know why you get to choose everywhere we go.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cBecause I can\u2019t trust you to not, you know, blow our cover. Like you\u2019re doing right now. You need to seriously stop speaking in julah<\/i> before some other Federation people overhear and realize who we are.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cAnd what the hell would you propose I speak?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cI dunno, something from Earth<\/i>maybe? Oh, hey, here\u2019s an idea! Speak English! Hell speak some Spanish! Do you know some French? You wanna go to Japan so I hope you know some Japanese, why don\u2019t you try it out on me?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re a dumbass. How\u2019s that for English?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cCharming.\u201d<\/div>\n
By now Yumiko was huddled in her seat, her sunglasses flung down her nose and her hair as flat and unremarkable as possible. Were these kids stalking<\/i> her on her purpose or just on total cosmic accident?<\/div>\n
The waitress asked what they wanted; Vikkel ordered for both of them since Krista apparently forgot her English. \u201cYou spend so much of your time just fucking around. You gonna do anything or just let those mercenaries run all over the world?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cHow about you stop criticizing me for two seconds, huh? Man, you\u2019re cranky today.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cProbably because I don\u2019t get any sleep. You kick me every ten minutes.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cBecause you\u2019re still in my bed<\/i>.\u201d<\/div>\n
Yumiko relaxed her shoulders. She was scared of these<\/i> kids?<\/div>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s just get this over with.\u201d<\/div>\n
Yumiko heard the two of them get up out of their seats, and then\u2026nothing. Did they go to the bathroom? Maybe they could take care of Maj. Lewis for her. <\/div>\n
Suddenly two julah<\/i> were sitting at the table with her.<\/div>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re Syrfila Tograten, right? You were kinda hard to find,\u201d Vikkel said in English.<\/div>\n
Yumiko held up her hands in front of her face \u2013 she could feel the contents of her empty stomach filing through her esophagus. \u201cI\u2026I don\u2019t know anyone by that name! My name is Yumiko!\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cRight. Yumiko Kobayashi. How nice.\u201d<\/div>\n
            Yumiko slumped down in her seat and covered her eyes with her hand. \u201cWhat do you want with me? Leave me alone and I won\u2019t have to bust your faces in here in front of half the wharf.\u201d<\/div>\n
            Krista opened her mouth to retort \u2013 doubtlessly with a threat \u2013 but Vikkel cut her off with a half-smile and further threat. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, we\u2019re not interested in you or your deeds, as swell as they seem to be right here. What rank are you in the nation\u2019s military?\u201d<\/div>\n
            Yumiko pressed her teeth together. \u201cI\u2019m a major, thank you.\u201d And I got here all on my own, <\/i>she added. <\/div>\n
            \u201cNoble. Well, like I said, we\u2019re not interested in taking you into the Federation, as much as my mother would love it\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cVikkel.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cYou\u2019re projecting.\u201d<\/div>\n
            He shot his ex-fianc\u00e9 a glare. \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t use our names like that.\u201d<\/div>\n
            It was Yumiko\u2019s turn to laugh at their misfortune. \u201cVikkel, huh? Then you must be Vikkel Amyran. And that would make you, who? Krista Ferran? What\u2019s the ambassador\u2019s daughter doing all the way out here?\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cHow do you know who we are?\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cPlease, your marriage disaster was huge julah<\/i> news, even Nerilis Dunsman was mumbling about it. Seems that you two have made up, though.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cThat\u2019s none of your concern,\u201d Vikkel said. \u201cWe\u2019re not here to talk about us. We are, however, here to talk about Lord Dunsman.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cLord<\/i>Dunsman? Jeez, you julah<\/i> really are in deep with your titles. I don\u2019t think anyone\u2019s called him Lord<\/i> since before he blew up his first planet.\u201d<\/div>\n
            Vikkel sighed and planted his hand against his forehead. \u201cThe reason<\/i> that we\u2019re here speaking with you is not, like I said, to turn you in. We simply want to know what you know about finding Nerilis Dunsman.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cOh, so it\u2019s him you\u2019re after?\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cIn a fashion.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cWell good luck with that. I have no idea where he is. He cut me off and ran away, far from this planet I\u2019m presuming. Last I heard or saw of him he knocked me clear off my feet and beat my ass.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cYes, but you may know more than you think.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cOh, is that so?\u201d<\/div>\n
            Vikkel lowered his hand while Krista, now wonderfully excluded, picked at a scab on her wrist. \u201cWe\u2019re interested in contacting a Mr. Yamamoto in Japan. He was the one who\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201c\u2026Dunsman bought the androids from, I know. They were a pain in my ass.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cYes. Do you know how to locate him? We only have his last name and, well\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cYeah, good luck with that.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cWell?\u201d<\/div>\n
            Yumiko glanced around the room \u2013 there was still no sign of Maj. Lewis, thank goodness. \u201cEven if I did know his real name and how to get in touch with him, why would I tell you?\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cWhy wouldn\u2019t you? You have nothing to lose.\u201d Vikkel paused. \u201cBut you will<\/i> have something to lose if you don\u2019t tell us what you know.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cIs that a threat?\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cObviously. We\u2019ll have no qualms alerting the Federation Forces as to your pseudonym here and what you\u2019re making of yourself.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cI\u2019d kill you first.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cHa!\u201d Krista finally chimed in. \u201cAs fucking if! Do you know who we are, sweetie? We\u2019re fuckin\u2019 julah<\/i>.\u201d She tossed her head back and crossed her legs, Vikkel\u2019s eyes transfixed on her movements as Yumiko silently noted. \u201cBefore you\u2019d ever have the chance to break our necks, blast our asses, or blow up my<\/i>\u2026\u201d Krista glared at Vikkel, \u201c\u2026apartment, I would curse your ass so hard that you\u2019d wake up with every STD in the Federation sprouting from your hips and crawling up into your navel. Ever heard of Vallerkay Spore Worms? I\u2019ll give you a crop of them.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cEw.\u201d Yumiko once knew somebody with Spore Worms. No one had looked lovelier than she did with that nice green hue of molding and rotting flesh. \u201cHow attractive.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cUh, yeah. You should see the pretty pink vagina I gave the male mercenary.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cShe\u2019s really proud of that.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cI figured you would do some\u2026a vagina<\/i>?\u201d Yumiko imagined Devon in her mind, a scrawny, no-one-care waste of a male (but weren\u2019t they all?) who was so far up his own ass over the female mercenary that playing with him was only amusing for about five minutes. The thought of giving that asshole a vagina was something even Yumiko could get behind. She couldn\u2019t wait to tell Miranda later.<\/div>\n
            \u201cKobayashi!\u201d Shit, he\u2019s back<\/i>. \u201cI didn\u2019t know you had some new friends!\u201d<\/div>\n
            The three of them looked up to see Maj. Lewis, returned from his pleasant sojourn to the bathroom, He pulled out his abandoned chair and sat with a fwump<\/i> that made Krista cock one dark eyebrow. <\/div>\n
            \u201cThey\u2019re not my friends,\u201d Yumiko informed him. \u201cThey were just leaving.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cYou a soldier, boy?\u201d Maj. Lewis flung his hand out and squeezed one of Vikkel\u2019s biceps. \u201cYou\u2019re kind of a scrawny boy but you\u2019ve got some nice Marine muscles!\u201d<\/div>\n
            Vikkel shrugged him off with chagrin. \u201cI\u2026I used to be a soldier\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cFeh! Once a soldier, always a soldier in your heart! Your parents must be proud.\u201d<\/div>\n
            Krista snickered.<\/div>\n
            \u201cOh yes, they\u2019re quite proud.\u201d Yumiko remembered hearing from Dunsman all about the plight of Lady Aryman and her disappointment of a lifetime son. From what Yumiko understood of julah <\/i>culture, academia equaled prestige and love whereas boot stomping equaled disdain and disownment. This kept getting better and better.<\/div>\n
            \u201cWho are these charming children?\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cWe\u2019re, erm\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cI\u2019m not<\/i>a chi\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cThey\u2019re my niece and nephew.\u201d<\/div>\n
            They all gaped at Yumiko \u2013 well, it wasn\u2019t completely <\/i>far-fetched. Everyone had dark hair, and although neither Vikkel nor Krista looked huling<\/i> in the face\u2026<\/div>\n
            \u201cReally? I didn\u2019t know you had any brothers or sisters\u2026hey, aren\u2019t you Japanese?\u201d Maj. Lewis turned to Vikkel. \u201cAnd what accent is that, boy? Eastern European?\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cYup. They\u2019re Bulgarian.\u201d<\/div>\n
            More gaping.<\/div>\n
            \u201cMy family is fucked.\u201d<\/div>\n
            \u201cWe\u2019re, uh\u2026we\u2019re going to go,\u201d Vikkel announced while standing. His full height made Maj. Lewis crane his head back and stare with a \u201cdo you play basketball?\u201d face.<\/div>\n
Krista stood up as well and said to Yumiko, \u201cYou\u2019d better<\/i> think about what we said. We\u2019ll be in contact with you again later.\u201d<\/div>\n
Once they were gone \u2013 and they were gone <\/i>gone, based on the confused look on the waitress\u2019s face when she searched for them later \u2013 Yumiko relaxed her shoulders and shot a breath out of her mouth. The only thing worse than dealing with two adolescent julah<\/i> was\u2026<\/div>\n
\u201cInteresting family you have, Kobayashi, although a bit strange\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
\u2026Maj. Lewis.<\/div>\n
\u201cWhat can I say, we keep shit interesting in my family,\u201d Yumiko mumbled. The waitress returned with their orders. Yumiko stared at her knee-length skirt and thought about the only thing that could make her paranoia subside at that moment. She pulled out her cell phone and searched for Miranda\u2019s email address while settling her stomach\u2019s appetite.<\/div>\n
For some odd reason, Miranda did not return Yumiko\u2019s text request for sex that night. Instead Yumiko was forced to suffer through a full lunch hour of Maj. Lewis\u2019s bullshit small talk while stuffing her face and wishing she were dead. Maybe it wouldn\u2019t be so bad to just turn herself in to the Federation and have her execution over and done with. It would be especially worth it if it were broadcasted throughout the galaxy and Maj. Lewis managed to see his would-be girlfriend shot by firing squad while giving the camera the biggest finger he had ever seen.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For this week’s installment of Friday Flash, I’ve got…nothing new! Well, it’s probably new to most of you. But if you ever read my Nanowrimo profile, it’s not. Didn’t have time to write up anything new this week. Instead I’m offering up the preview text I have on my Nanowrimo 2011 profile for CROSS\/\/Revenge. It’s… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[287,43,209,170],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-304","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-crossrevenge","category-excerpt","category-friday-flash","category-nanowrimo"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paRtqI-4U","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hildred-billings.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/304","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hildred-billings.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hildred-billings.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hildred-billings.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hildred-billings.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.hildred-billings.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/304\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hildred-billings.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hildred-billings.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hildred-billings.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}