Authors Were Meant to Troll, Dangit.

Not what I had in mind when I searched Google, but okay!

As an author, I feel it is my duty to troll my readers.

Not just with the usual plot twists and “bwahaha bow to my cleverness!”, oh no, I also have to troll my readers with character names.

Case in point, I have a tendency to use real word names and have them…pronounced completely differently than how they “should” be. Case in further point, I have a female character who at one time (and well, during some very specific times) went by the name “Cairn”. Now, her mother did not give her this name – it’s a name she chose on her own for her own damn reasons, and you know, I’m obliged to call her that at times. And yes, I’m sure you’re aware, just as much as I am, that the word “Cairn” is pronounced “ˈkern”, but damn it all, she pronounces her name “karn”. Apparently the “i” is just for decoration.

Of course, many characters see her name and assume it’s the actual word, and the usual shenanigans ensue. I can only imagine that she chose this name for its meanings and…didn’t know how to pronounce it. That’s all I’ve got, really. I mean, she was what, twelve when she chose this name? 

I fully expect most readers to likewise pronounce her name “incorrectly” even when it’s informed in story how it’s actually pronounced. I’m okay with that, really. Especially if it means fandom wank.

Always feed the trolls.